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Kamal, Vani and Sarika - Who they are
Kamal Haasan is a living legend in Tamil and Hindi Film industry; an extremely talented method actor; appreciated by most and loved by many. Starting as a child actor at the age of 6 he has won many national film awards. Vani Ganpathi is a great classical dancer. Beginning to dance at the age of 4 and performing at 7, she trained under some great artists, and has performed all over the world. Sarika is an extremely talented and a national award winner actress. She started her filmy career as a child actress at the age of 6, and acting was her first love.
Their Married lives
Kamal Haasan and Vani Ganapathi married in 1978. After marriage, Vani's dance took the backseat. The couple didn't have a child and in the meanwhile Kamal started living with another actress Sarika. Sarika delivered a daughter without getting married to Kamal and hence Kamal divorced his wife Vani to marry Sarika. Kamal and Vani had remained together for 7 years before separation. When Kamal married Sarika, she was at the peak of her career. She decided to leave acting and be with Kamal. She had another daughter in 1991. But Kamal was now attached with another actress and Sarika's life became difficult; marred with depression. She happened to have a near-fatal fall from the terrace of her house, which the press called a suicide attempt. Seriously injured, she recuperated for a long time. Ultimately Sarika and Kamal decided to divorce after being married for about 18 years.
Reactions
The psychologies of the three people going through the tough times are very different. Kamal remained very busy in his work and films and he explained his indifference and apathy to his wives in this way. When Sarika fell from her terrace, Kamal recorded the incident for his future reference, while having a bizarre screenplay in his mind. And he visited Sarika only once while she was in a hospital after her surgery.
When Kamal Haasan divorced his wife Sarika reportedly to live with another actress, his ex-wife Vani Ganapathy said, "Kamal uses sadistic tactics to compel his women into a divorce. I have gone through it and it is now Saarika who will have to go through it".
Now let us see what these three people have learnt from their experiences:
Sarika on marriage
(Sarika came back to films after a long gap of 17 years. She lives with her daughters. She has chosen not to speak anything about her past experience or marriage, but here are some excerpts from her interview.)
"Like any other mother who takes a break to rear her children, and later comes back to her profession, I too did the same."
"My daughters are my best friends."
"I don't want my children to go through what I did. I was always insecure when I met educated people. They don't have to grope in the dark like me."
"In your dark phases, you seek answers to so many things, you are lost and restless but when you are out of it, you feel relieved. It's like attaining nirvana."
"Two individuals, after a long relationship, can go their own separate ways and yet remain friends. Why will I not do a film with Kamal Haasan? After all he's India's best actor!"
Kamal Haasan on marriage
(Life of Kamal Haasan remained the same. He has been busy in his work and is reportedly attached to new girls.)
"I've never believed in marriage. It was only because I loved the women that I went through it to please them. Marriage, like religion for me, is an imposition."
"All I can say is that marriage is a folly that is slowly becoming redundant."
"I have four vaccination marks. In our time, they were a necessary ordeal. It's different today. I'm hopeful that one day like the vaccinations, the institution of marriage too will go away."
Vani Ganpathi on marriage
(When her marriage with Kamal ended after 7 years, she shifted to Bangalore and started her dance institute called Sanchari. She lives single and didn't remarry.)
"There is no particular reason to say that one needs to stay single. It depends on experiences one has had in life. But I do not want to ridicule marriage. It may work well for some, not so well for others. And many who are unhappy with marriage may be inspired to get back hearing stories of people living happily."
"Security, love, desire ? these things can give you joy or pain. You don't know what you will get."
"I believe relationships involve a lot of these emotions (hurts and happiness at times). In the end though, I have realised that if people do not put in effort to make a relationship work, it won't work. No relationship between any two people can ever be taken for granted."
I Think
See how different are the learning that these three people got from their experiences.
Sarika seems to have digested all. Sarika had left her studies for her career in acting. When she married Kamal, she decided to leave her profession to make her marriage successful. Her marriage should have been successful by popular judgements, because she and Kamal had lived-in for years before marriage and had two children. But when her dreams shattered and she found out that it was nor working, it was devastating for her. We don't know if her fall from terrace was a suicide attempt or not, but it is evident that her dreams were shattered and she was heart wrenched. Now, she has accepted what happened in the past and decided to move ahead. She is more mature now and has learnt lessons. She has a dream ' to make her daughters successful and a purpose in life ' to build her acting career again. It is indeed a success story.
Kamal seems to be out of his mind. He, in order to justify his failed marriages, is blaming and discounting the institution of marriage itself, comparing marriage with vaccinations. Men will be men. Freedom to them means living with other women while they are married to one, making other women pregnant and then they don't want the hassles of divorcing one to get another. What they don't see is how many dreams they have shattered, how many lives they have destroyed. Today, women like Vani and Sarika have survived all, and are still standing on their feet. Because they are strong, financially and politically. It doesn't work this way for all women. Wishing the institution of marriage to go away so that they can live with as many women as they wish, without any responsibility and blames, is both childish and corrupt.
I am all praises for Vani. She didn't decide to keep silence and hence she doesn't suffer somewhere the way Sarika does. Her marriage failed because of another woman, but she accepted the reality and walked away alone. She is independent and found her way alone. By getting back to her love of dancing, and becoming a teacher and thereby spreading her knowledge and expertise, she chose to act and stand up to what life can bring in front of her. Her decisions and her actions, her unrepenting attitude, and her words where she says, "If people do not put in effort to make a relationship work, it won't work; no relationship between any two people can ever be taken for granted", means a lot. She has accepted the realities, learnt lessons and moved ahead. This is the right attitude.
"Living Legend" award
Kamal, along with Rekha, was awarded the "Living Legend" award at FICCI FRAMES 2007 on 28 March.
